why sem has been slow at replying/getting online

hey guys
SO UH just gonna be pretty blunt here.
there is a lump in my left boob. and it hurts really really fuckin' bad.

so sem is gonna skip on down to the hospital to get that crap looked at because this lump has been there for about two years now and the pain does not go away.
at all.
for any reason.
ever.
it pains me to do things on my left side; reach up to grab something, lift things, even put on a damn bra.

sem should also mention that she is absolutely TERRIFIED of hospitals and doctors and blgdjs
if i had the will to, i wouldn't even go. but the pain is just so much right now that i can hardly go five freaking minutes without cringing in pain and clutching my poor boob to try to make the pain go away.
needless to say, i can't exactly go walking around cupping my tits all day long and it's really strange to do those kinds of things in public, especially at fancy restaurants. lesson learned there.

so that's sort of my reason as to why my replies have been splotchy and my random appearances are so far and in between this last..what week or so? something like that.

and that'll probably continue for a while until i figure out what the fuck my body is doing to itself.
i'll be damned if it's cancer - it's been 'round my family a couple of times over, so i'm kinda scared. i'm really just hoping that it's a large lump of clustered fat that just needs a good boobie massage to make it go away. or a...a needle stuck into it to pop it or something I DON'T KNOW...eugh needles. did i mention i'm afraid of needles? i am.

anyways. so that's gonna be me the next couple of days - or weeks - depending on how this situation goes down.

WISH ME LUCK.